Amanda Stanton hasn’t talked with ex-fiancé Josh Murray since delving into their relationship in her book, Now Accepting Roses, and she says she’s “glad” they’re not in touch.
“We have not had any conversations since this came out actually … which is good because it was one thing that I was really nervous about with the book coming out,” Stanton, 29, tells fellow Bachelor alum Taylor Nolan on the Tuesday, October 15, episode of the latter’s “Let’s Talk About It” podcast.
She continues: “Like, I don’t want to open that back up because it was just a really hard time for me. So that was something that was scary. It was like, you know, I want to put this out there but I also am really scared [about] what’s gonna happen after that ‘cause you never know. But no, I haven’t heard from him and am glad. So I hope it stays this way.”
Stanton met the baseball player, 35, on Bachelor in Paradise season 3 in 2016 after she broke up with Ben Higgins on The Bachelor and after he and Bachelorette alum Andi Dorfman ended their engagement. After six months of dating, Stanton and Murray split.
“Josh didn’t want a fiancée, he wanted a robot he could program and control,” Stanton wrote in the book, before detailing his alleged behavior. “One time I met two girls, friends of mine since first grade, for dinner,” she recalled. “Josh was so jealous and furious he bombarded me with texts to say he was packing his things and leaving. My attention had to be on Josh and only Josh at all times.”
She also claimed that the former Milwaukee Brewers player got angry after seeing a photo of her drinking. “He completely lost his cool and went crazy, saying some of the meanest things anyone has ever said to me,” she wrote. “He even went as far as calling me an awful word. Let’s just say it rhymes with ‘runt.’”
“Even though he was controlling and difficult, I felt pressured to try to make things work with him because he did get so close to my daughters,” she wrote, referring to Kinsley, 7, and Charlie, 5, whom she shares with ex-husband Nick Buonfiglio.
The Lani the Label founder also explained why her split from Murray hit her the hardest. “I truly thought I found my person, and I had put it out there in front of what felt like the whole world,” she wrote in the book. “I cringe when I think about the family photo session Josh and I did with my girls. It’s embarrassing to look back at the degree to which I fought for things to work out.”
Murray hasn’t publicly commented on the book, but he did address his breakups with Stanton and Dorfman in an exclusive Us Weekly interview in 2017. “Both of my situations in getting engaged on TV there were times in the middle where I wanted to and I should have walked away and I didn’t, and it’s my fault in the long run for certain things that happened,” he told Us at the time. “Obviously there were connections there and there was love and stuff, but when you see certain things in relationships that you don’t like, you can’t change somebody, they are who they are.”
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